Tiger’s wife mad

Found this in urbandictionary.com…lol!

the act of being so angry at someone that you find the item they cherish most and beat them with it.

E.g. Chris was so tiger’s wife mad at Joe that he grabbed Joe’s Wii remote and beat him with it.

Of dresses and things…

We have to go to a big, formal-y Christmas party held by H’s company in a hotel. So we went shopping for a dress, shoes, earrings and a clutch…Poor H, being my only best friend here, waited patiently as I tried on one dress after the other, and tried to be constructive in his suggestions.

We had two choices, a long red dress, and a short teal one. Even though I loved the long one, I thought it was a waste of money to buy a dress than I can only wear ONCE ever in my life. I can’t wear the same dress to the same party next year, and I can think of no other occasions for a long, evening dress in the U.S.! (…oh. Except wedding receptions. Specifically H’s brother’s. Oh shit. Maybe I should have gotten it.)

Anyhow, I bought the teal one.

The pic is not true to its color, it’s really a teal colour.  As usual, I always end up wearing the empire waist, shoulder baring types. I tried on SO many different cuts, determined to buy something different— but for pear-shaped figures, the empire waist seems to be most flattering. I love the neckline of this dress. Obviously I don’t look like the model in it. Whatever.

And HERE is the link of the dress I’d have LOVED to buy. When I saw it, it was $500, but now its $250! For this dress, that’s v.cheap. Not in my size though…I am nuts about the colour, neckline, and drape. Classic, simple, elegant, and just a little different. Mmmmmmmm. I seem to keep picking BCBG dresses.

So I also bought gold heels, earrings, bangles and a clutch to go with the teal dress. ALL totaling $200. Am I the best cheapo or what!

Amidst all this shopping, I also realize that I am a dress person. With my larger than proportion hips, I find it very difficult to find simple things like t-shirts and jeans. My feet are wide, so even shoe-shopping is an utter nightmare, AND I need wide calf boots too. Imagine. (H and Jalpa always thought I was exaggerating until they came shopping with me.) I have a better time with finding dresses. Not the best time. But better. But I like buying earrings the most. They ALWAYS fit! :):)

I really talk too much la.

At first sight…

I googled the deaf-blind as I have always been curious about them. What their life is like, how they experience things and how they feel. I often believe (or imagine) that as they’re reduced to 3 senses, their self-observation, thought process and introspection multiplies manifold. It’s a lonely world in your head.

No. I don’t personally know anyone who’s deaf-blind. And yes, it was an utterly random thought that ignited this curiosity. I was travelling in the MRT one day, and suddenly wondered what its like to be deaf AND blind. And then I watched the Hindi movie Black (LOVED it.)

While surfing, I found the blog of a deaf woman, Coco, who’s gradually becoming blind. Her personality, passion and optimism inspire me so much. Her words stir up mixed feelings of awe, humility, and shame. If I met her, I’d hug her and say thank you for sharing. Thank you for teaching me.

One of her posts, struck a very raw nerve with me. So I am sharing it here.

To quote: (She’s talking about Val Kilmer’s movie, “At First Sight”.)

“The love story between Virgil and Amy (in the movie) sent tingles up my body. The flirtation, the tactile experiments, immediate attraction to each other and there’s the lovemaking scenes of course. I have experienced fragments of what they went through, only because I have not met the love of my life yet however I’ve had my meaningful emotional and intimate relationships that take place in friendships and acquaintances that are so special that I want to share everything in my own world. I cherish touch, most especially from a lover. I cling to optimism from people I love, its radiation effects brighten up my life. I touch a lot of people’s lives and they touch mine, too and one day I’ll steal a man’s heart even if I’m depending on a cane, memory, instincts, remaining three senses and support in a life without sight. It takes one special person to have that instinct, love, understanding, compassion and patience to love someone who’s Deafblind. He’ll come along eventually, like Amy did for Virgil. He’ll learn how to live a life as a blind person through my blindhood, and I’ll learn how to live the visual world through his vivid yet real imagination. Tactile love comes in so many different forms – permanent and temporary, unconditional or short yet meaningful, even if one has sight and the other none.”

I think of all the times when I had entertained the thoughts that no one would truly love me. I even drew up detailed plans of a house Dips and I would share as old maids, I was that convinced I’d die a virgin. Vig and I made “cobwebs down there” jokes… I felt the men I dated enjoyed my company and thought I was interesting, but I am too fat, too opinionated, too bossy, too talkative, too naïve, too anything to be loved. I thought of all the times I gave up on men, and dreams of making a family (and then cancelled my “giving up, and tried again. And again). I pitied myself.

WHY?

I was too stupid, too self-absorbed, too immature to see myself and to know better…I know this now.

Coco is obviously a beautiful soul – and I know someone will discover this gem one day. He will intertwine his life with hers, and it will be just as she says.

I also want!

When my S’pore friends do something together in S’pore- small things like have coffee- I want to be there. And then, when I am in Singapore, and friends in the US have fun together- I want to be there too. I want to be included. (Kanchu is like that too, I know. LolJ) I want to laugh at what they say, and talk, and eat and drink with them.

I don’t feel envious that they’re having fun…I WANT my friends to have fun. I just want to be there too.

I.e. I am a delusional primary school kid, who wants to lead two lives and be in two places.

How have I managed to complicate my life so?

First snow is always magical…

One of our friends is expecting twins and we organized a baby shower for her. I was in charge of the games, and it was held at Usha’s home. (Was fun!) Her house is in Randolph, at higher altitude than ours. The first snow fell all over Jersey as we were driving to her place. Beautiful.  And a nightmare to drive in.

Within hours, there was this much snow. Picture taken with iPhone through sliding doors.

 

If the snow truck didn’t come, we might have been snowed in.

When snow falls, the flakes drift down slowly. And that’s what makes it look so surreal and peaceful. I love it when it snows, especially first snow. The world looks so pure, so Christmas-like…and if it doesn’t melt fast enough the next day, it turns into dirty slush. Like the snow version of mud.

It’s especially pretty in the neighbourhood where I work, as the houses here are traditionally old with picture windows and chimneys. Very storybook…Unfortunately, I have to walk for 30mins everyday to take the train and bus home, and its REALLY NOT FUN waiting 20 mins for a late bus when its -3 degrees and you feel your cheeks have become ice cubes…That said, I am very enthralled by the drastic changes of the seasons here. Australia is a one big tropical country in comparison Might as well enjoy while I am here, right?

Btw, you’ll be curious to know, as I was, that it’s a little less cold when it snows (compared to before it snows)…And don’t be fooled when you see sunlight in winter, those could very well be the coldest days! Interesting, isn’t it?

this annoying EYE thinggggg

For 9 weeks, I had a persistent, disgusting sty. (Sty= a bacterial infection, like a pimple, that occurs inside an oil gland near the base of your eyelid.) I have never had one before, but I suppose moving across the globe makes your body susceptible to new breeds of infections.

It refused to go away with hot compresses and ointments. So on Thurs, I had minor surgery to remove it.

Both H and I were nervous as we waited for the doc. I’d never had a knife experience of any sort. The doctor knew I was nervous, and I think he was prepared for some drama from me.

The doc gave me 3 injections of local anesthesia around the eyelid, and then massaged all that fluid around my eyelids. They were so swollen he had to lift my upper eyelid open. Then he used a clip (very much like those black metal paper clips) to turn over my eyelid, so he could access the inside. Super uncomfy, even with the anesthesia.

He proceeded to cut the sty with a knife and scrape it. Then he used a pair of scissors and SNIPPED away for five horrifying, gruesome minutes. It was the snipping sound that was the scariest. I was wide awake- and in another situation, would look away, but how does one do that in an open eye surgery?

That means, I had couldn’t move a millimeter as I saw the doc approach my eye with a sharp pair of surgical scissors and all sorts of pokey things. It’s instinctual to look away. The whole time, I was thinking, “I cannot believe I am keeping this still as someone is cutting away inside my eye.  Is it even humanly possible not to move or blink?”…Apparently, it is. I was so tensed that my whole body was rigid.

15mins later the LA wore off, and I felt like someone had punched me a dozen times in the eye. My eye was bloody, in pain and so swollen I couldn’t open it. I felt very drowsy and couldn’t walk straight.

And then I had bloody tears for 24hrs.

This is “minor surgery”, people. Imagine what childbirth or bypass surgery feels like.

H is squeamish but came in for moral support. Before the op I told him to hold my hand, but don’t look at the procedure. He held my hand, and WATCHED the whole thing. He said he would have opted for general anesthesia if he were me. He thinks I am super brave- but I wonder who is braver. Me for not moving at all, or him for watching the whole fiasco without squirming or fainting.

Maybe. Just maybe. There is a 3% chance he won’t faint if I give birth.

(Which makes me think of Jacob. Who’s going in with Ibby? Her mum or Jacob or both?)

The doc said I’d be back to normal in 2 days. It’s been three days, and my eyelid is still a little swollen. 10% of the sty is STILL there! (OMG) And the rim of my eye socket is black. Not blue-black— black. Where I was injected, it’s maroon and bruised. I’ve been doing what the doc advised but nothing seems to be helping. One eye is smaller than the other. Most of the improvement should have happened in the first 72 hours.

What scares me is this- my face scars very easily. I took off my nose stud 5 months ago and it left a permanent brown spot on my nose that doesn’t fade. I had a small cut on my head 4 mths ago and I have a dent in my forehead from that. (imagine, you haven’t seen me for a year, and I already have two new scars!) I had chicken pox 12 years ago, and it left potholes all over my face (not on my body, just my face). Each time, doctors, friends and family assured me 100 times that the scars will go away in time, but they didn’t. My face is a canvass of small mishaps that occur to everyone, but only leave a mark on me. To top off all my bad facial luck, I really do not want a small, puffy and black eye.

I am just doing what the doc says, trying to think positive and hope for the best.

Winter depression

I know I am going to sound like a hypochondriac, but I believe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I have every single of the symptoms, which set in suddenly as fall turned into winter. If you grew  up in the tropics, I think you’d have it too. When spring and summer comes, I’m a hyper active bunny, and in fall and winter I feel so sluggish, it’s like I am on a constant sedative!

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)- Winter depression

By the way it’s dark at 4pm now. (i.e. at 4pm, it looks like its 8pm outside.) My colleagues who leave work at 3pm say “Good night” to us before leaving. Good friggin’ night indeed

Five frustrations

1. I missed Kanchoo’s surprise bday party. Sounded like a lot of fun. I feel so left out. (Hmmm…maybe, just maybe, it’s because I am half the world away?)

 2. Almost all my friends, my family, relatives and family friends were at Jeff’s and Bina’s wedding- and I wasn’t there. (Can I at least see pics of you guys and how you dressed up?)

 3. Every Singaporean (and one Indian) that I know in the US has either moved back or is visiting home right now.  That’s 9 of them. I am the only one left. That sucks. Needless to say, my quiet phone is even quieter now. (In SG I was constantly on the phone and texting. Now I just get a headache out of such teenage behavior.)

4. My back has acted up and no matter how many sessions of physio or chiropractic I try, it doesn’t get better. I always live with back pain, and lately, for 8 weeks I’ve been living with worse pain. Started with uphill trekking and intense exercise, worsened with long road trips and sleeping on sinking soft beds….What my Sg physio, Jonathon, did for me in one session, its broken up into 2 or 3 sessions here in the US. So I can keep coming back, and they can charge the insurance company $150-$200 per visit- just for touching me for literally 5-10mins. (Yes I timed it, I am nuts.) AND they’re not half as effective as Jonathon was! The worst physio I went to in Sg, is produced more results than the best one I met here. When they say that medicine is a business in America, they”re NOT exagerrating even the slightest bit.

Jonathon was a physiotherapist and practiced both physio and chiro- which are separated into two disciplines in the US, meaning I have to see two people. One for massage and exercises, another one for alignment. I pay $20 per visit, (insurance pays the rest). So I don’t pay much, but think about it, even $20 is TOO much to pay for something that’s NOT working!

6. I have a sty on my eyelid that’s been there for 2 months and refuses to go away. (Like a pimple that stays) Its big and ugly and mega annoying. Surgery to drain it this afternoon. They’ll cut it from inside my eyelid. I am super scared as this is my first knife experience. I’ve never even gotten a stitch! I suppose I’ll have a pirate patch for a couple of days?

Earth could plunge into sudden ice age

Experts: ‘Big Freeze’ about 12,800 years ago happened within months. And can happen again anytime. Read this.

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